Chủ đề: ngoai ngu

Seeing a foreigner walk past, a cocky boy swore at him in Vietnamese: "Fuck that foreigner."

The man approached and asked in English, "What is your name?"

Delighted at the chance to show off, the boy replied, "My name is Đạt."

The foreigner immediately said in Vietnamese, "Fuck Đạt."

Từ vựng trong truyện

• cocky: huênh hoang; tự mãn
• swore at: chửi rủa
• approached: đi tới gần
• show off: khoe khoang; thể hiện

A little mouse had just come out of his hole when he found himself face to face with a fierce cat. His legs trembled, and he thought he was done for.

Suddenly, a loud bark rang out: "Woof! Woof! Woof!"

The cat turned tail and fled.

The little mouse turned around and saw his mother approaching.

"Mum, what did you do to make the cat run away?" he asked.

"That was a foreign language, dear. You should learn one. It comes in very handy!"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• fierce: hung dữ
• trembled: run rẩy
• done for: hết đường sống, coi như tiêu đời
• turned tail: quay đầu bỏ chạy
• comes in very handy: rất hữu ích, rất được việc

A Vietnamese couple had recently moved to America. They often argued and threatened to divorce. Feeling that his wife had bullied him for far too long, the husband spoke up.

Language note: their quoted English below is deliberately incorrect, translated word for word from Vietnamese. Each explanation gives the intended meaning in natural English.

Husband: ‘Sugar you you go, sugar me me go!’ Meaning: ‘You go your own way, and I'll go mine!’

Wife: ‘You think you tasty?’ Meaning: ‘You think you're so great?’

Husband: ‘I love toilet you go go!’ Meaning: ‘I'm asking you to leave!’

Wife: ‘You think you are belly button of dance pole? You live a place mokey cough flamingo crows, clothes house country!’ Meaning: ‘Do you think you're the center of the universe? You come from the middle of nowhere, you country bumpkin!’

Husband: ‘You onion summer three dowm seven up. No enough listen.’ Meaning: ‘You've put me through hell. That's enough!’

On the verge of tears, his wife said, ‘Me take you, you poor storn spinach two table hand white!’ Meaning: ‘When I married you, you were dirt poor. You had nothing!’

Feeling sorry for her, he said, ‘You eat criminal so, no star where, we can do again from first.’ Meaning: ‘You're not playing fair. Never mind—we can start over.’

Calming down, his wife replied, ‘I no want salad again!’ Meaning: ‘I don't want to argue with you anymore.’

Từ vựng trong truyện

• bullied: bắt nạt; lấn lướt
• go your own way: đi con đường riêng của mình
• the center of the universe: cái rốn của vũ trụ; người tự cho mình quan trọng nhất
• the middle of nowhere: nơi hẻo lánh; chốn khỉ ho cò gáy
• put me through hell: khiến tôi khổ sở trăm bề
• start over: bắt đầu lại
• argue: cãi nhau

The phone rang at the reception desk of a London hotel. The receptionist picked it up and heard:

"Two tea to two two two!"

Unable to make sense of it, he hung up. The phone rang again, and the same voice repeated, "Two tea to two two two!" He hung up again.

It rang a third time. Once again: "Two tea to two two two!" Furious, the receptionist slammed the receiver down.

A few minutes later, a man appeared in front of him and shouted, "Do you understand English? I've told you three times: bring two cups of tea to room 222!"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• reception desk: quầy lễ tân
• make sense of: hiểu được
• hung up: cúp máy
• receiver: ống nghe điện thoại

An English tourist in Vietnam wrote to a friend:

"Vietnam is great fun. The people are friendly and gentle. There's a wonderful variety of food, and the fruit is fresh and sweet. I've traveled through all three regions and received a warm welcome everywhere. I've learned so many new and fascinating things.

"But there's one thing I simply can't understand. Vietnamese people really hate films, yet they keep going to the cinema. Every time a film finishes, they stand up and say, 'Hết phim!' It sounds to me like 'hate film'!"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• variety: sự đa dạng
• regions: vùng miền
• warm welcome: sự đón tiếp nồng hậu
• fascinating: lý thú, hấp dẫn